• Thank God: Gabby Giffords shooter sentenced to seven life terms. In the best fuck-you ever, Giffords’ husband Mark Kelly said this: You tried to create for all of us a world as dark and evil as your own. But remember it always: You failed.
• WTF?: This newscast showing Henderson’s Malcolm Library director crying because her branch is closing. Then let your eyes scroll to the right side of the News3 screen and check out the very weird survey “If you could travel back in time, who would you eliminate?” Neil Sedaka has 7 percent of the vote. Really.
• EPT indeed: Pregnancy tests can detect certain forms of testicular cancer. Yowza!
• God’s Pointer Finger: Salon‘s 17 best excuses for Romney’s defeat is not to be missed. (You’re welcome.) Or, you could just blame the single ladies.
• Mother May I: Amanda Hess over at Slate’s XXfactor makes the case for never asking working mothers about their work-life balance ever again.
• Taste tester: Adele is way classier than you. And she won’t be shamed by trolls on the internet. Maybe those trolls should check this out.

PLUS: DON’T FORGET TO NOMINATE YOUR FAVORITE CHARITY OR GROUP FOR THE SIN CITY SIREN CHARITABLE GIVING LIST! (Only one nomination is necessary per group.)