Feminist Files: The Twinkie defense

© 2005 Larry D. Moore via Wikimedia

© 2005 Larry D. Moore via Wikimedia

  • You want a Pepsi Blue with that? It was inevitable, I guess. Now that the First Lady’s socialist plot to get America’s kids to eat healthier foods and exercise more is taking off, it’s time to blame America’s moms for subbing out Hostess in the lunchbox. (Don’t even get me started on the sexism of assuming all/only moms pack lunches.) I have to admit that it is kind of hilarious seeing the footage of a forlorn woman lamenting that her daughter, “will never know what a Twinkie tastes like.” You got me there. Your child may never know the joy of tasting that unique compound of 37 ingredients, which include highly flammable substances and components of rocket fuel. Mmmm… just like mom never made.
  • The girl in the hand-me-down clothes: Meanwhile, well-meaning feminist parents are wringing their hands about our children’s sartorial choices and whether or not baby sister can wear her older brother’s old clothes.
  • Wrap up! Well, actually, I think wrapping up — as an element of tackling — is strictly verboten in flag football. But all the same, I am excited to see that girl’s flag football is a sanctioned sport in the Clark County School District.
  • Nerd Alert! Meanwhile, over at Toys R Us, they want to be sure that you understand that science and learning toys are for boys and cooking and cleaning toys are for girls. Holy sexism, Bat Girl! Yeah, you can sign a petition about that.
  • Stop! You’re destroying America! And by “destroying America” I of course mean that you are part of the War on Men! Wait. What? Oh, right. This is one of those satan-whore-feminists-are-destroying-our-civilization things. In case the very idea of validating this farce by clicking on the above link fills you with rage-a-hol, let me just give you the gist: Men have not changed but those damn slutty feminists (sounds like a fab movie, no?) have forced women to ignore their biological destiny and societal duty! What I really like about this oldie-but-never-goodie is that it implies that (1) feminists have succeeded in overthrowing the patriarchal and misogynistic paradigms of ye olden times and (2) those kinds of wide-spread systemic changes have had no effect on the men-folk. Egads! They’re on to us! Or rather, shut-the-fuck-up you ignorant sluts! (Only borrowing the vernacular here, ala SNL’s Dan Akroyd and Jane Curtain.) You know what I hear when someone waxes poetic about ye olden times? I liked it better when the bitches couldn’t vote and the darkies weren’t considered people.
  • Head Bitch in Charge: Speaking of gender norms and the problems they create… Here’s a post from The Tired Feminist pondering why moms are considered the parent-in-charge when shit hits the fan.
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