The Return of the Bitterness Log

As the administrator of this blog I get to see what people click on and what people type in to search engines that brings them to my blog (perverts). Every now and then someone clicks on an old post that I have completely forgotten, like the year-old post The Bitterness Log. Remember that?

For my newer readers, The Bitterness Log posts (by myself and my friend Josh in Portland, Ore.) is a decidedly feminist and tongue-in-cheek take-off on the 1950s-era, anti-feminist, uber-Christian philosophy of one Martha Peace. The distilled essence of her philosophy was that women should be not just subservient to men (who must carry the mantel of making all decisions regarding home life, sex life and anything else) but that women are so weak that they need to call on God to deliver them from their own vain and bitter ways so that they might fully give of themselves to their husband’s (and, presumably, children’s) every need. In order to do this, she recommended that women keep a journal of their bitterness and rid themselves of said bitterness through pleas and prayers to God.

Well, enough said. What Josh and I discovered was that there was more than enough bitterness to go around, even amongst us godless, commie, progressive, liberal, lesbian (all feminists are lesbians, right?), feminist, vegetarian (all liberals eschew meat, right?), abortionist/baby-killer types. (Or, you know, whatever your personal anti-Christ, liberal make-up is.) And, by the way, I have bitterness about being called a “abortionist” or “baby-killer.” Or whatever it is the anti-choice crowd is trying to call me.

So, I thought it would be fun to dust-off the old Bitterness Log for another spin.

1. Wake up and curse pollen and allergies. Bitterness that God created allergies. Bitterness that God gave me a weak immune system.

2. Feel the fetus in my belly swiftly kick my bladder. Bitterness that pregnancy can often be uncomfortable/painful. Bitterness that being 8-months pregnant means you get very little sleep (what with the kicking, peeing, backaches, etc.) Bitterness that the bathroom is too far from my bed. Bitterness that people will think I am selfish or not a good mother-to-be if I complain about any aspect of pregnancy.

3. Turn on cable news show. Flip through all cable news shows. Feel bitterness building with each push of the remote buttons. Settle on CNN. Why are these airheads who read off teleprompters considered journalists? Or credible? Why do they get to make lots and lots of money (and get fame) for being complete douchebags? Bitterness over lack of quality news on television, which I listen to while I make my breakfast. (Bitterness that I do not have a radio in my home on which I could listen to KNPR.)

4. Extreme bitterness over news bites from television: Bitterness that children are raped. Bitterness that rape exists. Heart-breaking Bitterness that potentially dozens of men had sex with a 7-year-old working as a prostitute for her 15-year-old sister. Bitterness that Jennifer Hudson’s weight loss is “top news.

5. Glad that medical terrorist Scott Roeder was sentenced to 50 years to life in prison. Bitterness that his hateful act, killing Dr. Tiller, cannot be undone by this act of justice. Bitterness that at his sentencing Roeder still had one final soapbox to spew hate and lies.

6. Really bitter that Sandra Bullock/Jesse James story of infidelity won’t go away, still treated as “top news story.” It’s sick to pursue people going through such a difficult time (bitterness). It’s not any of my business what happens in their marriage. And it’s not news. Bitterness!

7. Bitterness at Obama for opening up off-shore drilling. Feel a little bitter that readers hate it when I write about the environment (according to the new readership survey) and wonder why they feel that way.

8. Finish breakfast. Read up on local news. Bitterness that there is not a simpler way to stay informed.

9. NLV is going to chop 204 city jobs. Bitterness that people will be laid off. (Bitterness that I remember what it was like to be laid off and that, yes, it sucks.) Bitterness that there is a recession. Bitterness that Nevada has an inept governor during the worst recession in modern times. Bitterness that Nevada has a higher unemployment rate (13+ percent versus 9.7 percent) than the national average and is one of the top five worst-hit states including unemployment, housing market crash, etc.

10. Bitterness that Sen. John Ensign is still a senator (now with new ethics violation allegations).

11. Bitterness that the Tea Party exists. Happiness that the Las Vegas Gleaner can make me laugh over the insanity of it all.

12. Bitterness that local hospitals are laying off workers.

13. Bitterness that there is a controversy over whether or not firefighters should collect money for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. Bitterness that a charity might be penalized because of politics.

14. Check The Sin City Siren Twitter and start scanning headlines posted by some of my 217 followers (Bitter that I don’t have more followers and bitter that I don’t know how to make that number grow. Techno-knowledge fail! Then, bitterness that I am so ungrateful for having 217 followers.) Bitterness that Haitian earthquake refugees were imprisoned after coming to America. Glad they were finally freed, two months later. Not a lot of new tweets at 5 a.m., so forget that for now.

15. Check e-mail. I only have e-mails from East Coast folks (not a huge percentage of my daily e-mails). Bitter that I am awake freakishly early and nobody else (in my time-zone) is.

16. Feel like I could be very productive since I am up earlier than usual but nothing is open and nobody is awake. Curse capricious nature of pregnancy, again. Feel guilty, again. Go pee, again.

17. Check blog logs and discover Bitterness Log hit. Feel relieved that I can channel my frustrations into a new blog post as I have had writers’ block. Curse writers’ block. Curse self for not being more creative, funny, productive, insightful, talented … Bitterness that I have unrealistic expectations of myself. God, please deliver me from my own self-loathing tendencies.

18. Forgot about Facebook, so I check that. Have half-dozen invites to events that I will most likely not be able to go to because I am pregnant and tire easily (even though I can’t sleep), can’t stand for long periods, can’t walk for long periods, can’t be around cigarette smoke … Bitterness that being pregnant sometimes makes me feel like a social leper. Worry that people will be mad or take it personally when I click “no” on their event invites. Bitter that checking Facebook does not give me any new blog post ideas.

19. Notice that Jon Ralston posted something on Twitter/Facebook two hours ago. Does that guy ever sleep? Bitterness that you have to work that hard to be that good.

20. Starting to feel tired again. Maybe will try going back to bed. Hoping that readers will enjoy this post. Bitternesst that I do not have ESP.

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