So, we have a new Miss America and she is Indian-American. Rather than congratulate Nina Davuluri for being the first Indian-American to ever win the top prize of this cultural institution, racists took to twitter to bitch about how America is going down the toilet because, and I quote, “an Arab won.”

They do know that twitter is visible to the world, right? As in: We can see you!

Lest you think I’m being an over-dramatic, humorless feminist, I assure you that there were tens of thousands of tweets about Davuluri in just her first day on the job. Many of them containing epithets like “sand n****r” and more. Still more confused her ethnic identity as Arab or Muslim, or worse yet, claimed she was a terrorist. Because, as Stephen Colbert pointed out so appropriately last night, the first thing you think of when you see an Indian-American woman in a bikini is, “Muslim terrorist.”

This is an epic face-palm.

Okay, America. I’m going to sit you down and talk to you like I do my three-year-old when she’s exhibiting some really bad behavior. You not only need a time-out, you need a lesson.

• That kind of talk will not be tolerated: Calling someone names is mean and it hurts people’s feelings. But worse than that, using racial slurs is a sign of hate and mama does not allow that. We live by the Golden Rule in this house: Treat others as you would like to be treated. You wouldn’t want to be called punk-ass honkies or illiterate, xenophobic neanderthals, would you?
• If you don’t know something, look it up: They’re called maps. On Dora the Explorer she checks the map every single episode to make sure she knows where to go. Even my three-year-old knows this. You can find them all over the internet and even in bookstores. Or, ask your smartphone where India is. (And while you’re at it, what Muslim means. Hint: Muslim is a type of religion, not a synonym for the word “terrorist,” much like the word Christian is not a synonym for closed-minded, racist jerk, even though it feels true sometimes.)
• Throwing a temper tantrum will not get you what you want: At least not in this house. No matter how much you kick and scream on the floor, you will not get a cookie before dinner, or convince me to stay at the park past nap time, or allow delusions about how things used to be better in the good-ol, never-was days that you made up in your mind because change scares you. My daughter has a book called “Calm Down Time,” which helps kids understand their emotions and understand that sometimes we all need to just cool our jets and chill in a quiet place. When we’re ready, we can talk about our feelings in a calm way, cry, or even ask for hugs. (I totally recommend this book, by the way.) Use your words, America. Your big-kid words. Not your little words. Not your screams of “NO! NO! NO!”

And remember, better to remain quiet and have others wonder if you are smart than to open your mouth and prove that you are not.

But seriously folks, this is ridiculous. While I have issues with defending something like the Miss America beauty pageant, I see no honor or patriotism in this racist outburst. It’s embarrassing. And I hope the backlash against the racist backlash is a big scoop of humble pie. If the Miss America pageant sets an example, of a sort, to young Americans, what do you think your words are doing? Perhaps you could learn a thing or two from Davuluri.

“I’m so happy this organization has embraced diversity,” she said, according to AP. “I’m thankful there are children watching at home who can finally relate to a new Miss America.”

As for the negativty, she said, “I have to rise above that. I always viewed myself as first and foremost American.”

Right. Right. That is what we call people born in America … Americans.