Sometimes you just can’t un-hear something. And oh how I wish I could. I just learned that there are plans for a new reality show to be filmed in Alaska.

This makes me sick to two levels. First, I hate Survivor-style reality shows. Second, get out of my home state! I’m from Alaska and treasure my unique and wonderful experiences from growing up there. Stay out!

I’m all for people going there to visit or to live (because it really is one of the most beautiful, amazing places on earth) but it’s not a stage for your stupid, stereotype-laden dog-and-pony show in which you ignorantly talk about “Alaskan” things (as if you know what you’re talking about) and in which you exoticize Native Alaskan cultures and customs. Also, I just get irritated when people ask me about igloos and dog sleds and you know there’s going to be some dumb-ass igloo and dog-sled shit on this show.

And I guess I have a third reason to hate this show: the environment. I wonder how long it will take them to talk about how pristine Alaska is while tromping through some sensitive habitat with their camera crews, trucks and bullshit? Look, a wild bull moose! How cool! Now let’s pave over the place and pump it for oil.